ok so this is a year in review, sorry no explaining

Move in day Rommies

In the car is when ash and i went down to alli and her roommates to go see the Fray!

i miss this and i have a lot to say... prepare yourself

I miss using this and reading up on what was going on in everyones life. I feel so disconnected! Anyways, before i logged on i was thinking of something really good to write down here, but then blogger made me go through this process of switching over to something, (I didn't really pay attention to what i was making an account with, i just wanted to post my thoughts on that brilliantly topic that was swarming in my mind). Well guess what...i forgot what i was going to say.

On a brighter note, i was reading all of my old posts...ok well not all of them, but the ones in the month of April, and let me tell you...it brought so many memories back. For what it is worth, i am so glad that i wrote down everything that i did, because there were things that i dont think that i would have remembered if i had not have had some help. And that is what i am going to continue to do. If not for you then for me to read and reflect upon.

In a way, i feel as though i should be making this a long post that had meaning behind it, but im going to just write down what is on my mind. in a way, i see this as my journal. It is a way for me to write down whatever i want to share, and it is up to whoever reads it to follow through on my thoughts or just get bored of me rambeling about nonsense...like this a little bit. However i find this appropriate.

So what is going on in the mind on Michelle? [insert...cough...sarcastic comment...giggle]. I guess that i am having a hard time realizing what really matters in life. I mean, we always hear people say to forget about it, it is not going to matter in a few weeks...months...years...etc. (whatever that "it" is). But really, what is the "it" and how do we really know if it is going to matter? What i am afraid of is disreguarding that "it" and missing out on what could have changed my life. Take the chance? Play it off as nothing? Whatever...

i am typing this partly because i am hoping that i am going to remember what i had originally had planned for this post, and the other part in this, is that i am working on my typing skills. But serioulsy, my post would have been a good one.

maybe i will tell you a little about myself:





I prefer the color green over any other color out there.


If i was a M&M, i would be a brown one, often looked over, but still taste the same.


I don't like the fact so many people died because of terrorism.


Sometimes i need to be alone.


Sometimes i need people around me.


I am a logical thinker... that helps me...that hurts me.


I ofter wonder about my future. Am i going to be everything that i dream of being?


The mind is a powerful thing...i let it take advantage of me...i won't let it do that again.


I have dissapointed my parents before...i am afraid of doing that again


February 23, 2003 will always be a hard day for me.


I have given up so much in life, but i have recieved even more.


I don't give off very good first impressions, but i am loyal.


I am shy...sometimes...im getting better.


I hate when people want me to be just like them...im not...i am a human being and we are all different.


My thoughts do not need to be discussed all the time.


I feel as though no one is going to read this.


I am not a big cat person.


I used to have two birds...i miss them.


I prefer to do my reading and my homework lying in the middle of my bedroom floor (sitting at a desk is too professional, i am still a kid, there is plenty of time to sit at a desk).


Currently i am listening to Christmas music. i could listen to it all the time.


I am proud of where i am in my life.


I am thankful for all of the people that God has placed in my life.


I believe that everyone will impact one another, it may not be noticable, but i believe that it is there.


6 is my favorite number.


I need sleep


I thank God that i broke my leg.




I love to look at picutes of simplicity. I often imagine the life that once was when i see old pictures. There was a life, a family, memories that i will never know of, but what other will never forget. I wish someday i will be able to find a place like this and enjoy nature in a way that i have never done before. The world is huge, i have to keep that in mind.






And i thank God for my life...constantly...i would not be here if i didn't realize this.



I do not know why these are double spaced.



For now, i am done.

-michelle

intrinsic motivation

for the rest of the semester i am not going to look at my grades. i am tried of basing how smart i am on the grades that i recieve, becuase you know what, grades dont matter. well i take that back, grades matter in a sense. but remember when we were all little and everything to us was interesting. it didnt matter what our report card said, or who was the top student in the class. We were fascinated with the content, the world. So when did everything become such a competition? Battles to be the best ultimatly became the most important aspect with school. Who cares about what you learn and retain, all that matters is the grade at the end of the class. We all seemed to have lost that intrinsic motivation.
Taking this into consideration, i have decided to go the rest of the semester not motivated by the grade, but my what i can get out of the class. I am going to try and not look and any score that i get back and learn to trust how i feel after every quiz and exam. If i feel good about it, then i know that i have studied enough and gotten as much as i could out of it. If i feel that i did poorly, then i know that i could have done better.
Grades can tear a person down and make them feel stupid, i am tired of doubting myself.

other then that, things are good, life is interesting and God is AMAZING!!

I AM GOING TO BE A MATH TEACHER!!!!!

yup, i am going to be a high school math teacher, teaching between geometry and pre-calc. I am in and education class right now and even though i have only had two classes i love the class and i love just invisioning myself teaching. I even like reading the many chapters that have been assigned to us, which, if you know me, i don't really like to read. ok well i jsut thought that i would share this and also i haven't posted in...well a while.

Cowboys ride into the sunset, cinderella has just fit into the glass slipper that changed her world. We all klnow the stories, the fairy tales. We all want the glory of making it for ourselves. From the beginning we are all looking for a happy ending, evey dream of winning, every love we've been in is all part of this happy ending. We come here with nothing and leave here the same. Our first and last breath don't matter, its all the ones that we take in between. Its the reason for living. Its why we sit in the movies until the closing scene. And for all those dreamers who have come and gone. Those who have reached for the stars and who have overcome. You're the hope, you're the wish, and you're the truth. A baby's born in the ghetto and another one is born with a silver spoon. One tells his mama, "I have a dream" One tells his mama, "I'll walk the moon."
We are all living for a reason. Our dreams and ambitions are unique and so are we. Set goals and reach for those dreams. Someday they will come true. Someday, maybe closer then you think your whole life could change. Are you ready?
Life is full of trial and error. If you want something bad enough stick with it, your future may depend on it. (whatever that "it" is).

oh and p.s. Sugarland is amazing. i highly suggest buying the CD

oh the brain...

One day a little bean found herself in a pan. She began to ponder about why she was in this pan and what was about to happen to her. Drawing up various conclusions, she just decided to wait and see whats to come for herself. Eventually, she noticed that the pan was heating up...frightened she called for help. However, being a bean she had no voice. (instead of calling her "she or her" the beans name is now "potato") Potato didn't have a voice because she didn't have a mouth and even if she had a mouth, potato has never spoken a word in her life. Therefore, if she was to scream "help" it wouldn's sound like "help." I envision it more as a "e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-a." Anyways, she suddenly started heating up and began jumping to try and aviod the heat. Eventually, Potato couldn't stop jumping, it was like something has posessed her little beanie body. And at that very moment, Potato found out that she was a little jumping bean!

ok so all i had to do today was to study for my math exam tomorrow. Thats not very hard, is it? nope...to an average person. to me, that was like asking me to climb a 600foot wall, without any safety harnesses. I couldn't do it. (and i still can't) Oh man...what to do? seriously my brain is running a hundred miles per hour.

yeah i have become a pretty good procrastinator. i had a performance that i was wupposed to be working on for like the past 2-3 weeks in my TAI class. All it really consisted of was to memorize a part of a story, about 5 minutes, and perform it in front of the class with all the gestures and movements to go along with it. I didn't start looking at my story unitl Sunday night. Performance on monday morning.
see, i am getting ridiculous. thats college...and it is so much easier then high school. yo uhave so much free time and not as much homework.

thats all, i hope you liked my little story, i have yet to read over it so i apologize for any spelling mistakes or gramatical errors.

wah...

well, i am offically bored. i don't feel like doing homework anymore. in fact, i am home right now and my parents are gone and i told garrett that i would call him when i get done. but i jsut can't bring myself to read and study anymore. i was trying to hurry and memorize my performance for tomorrow and i swear that i have read over it umteen-million times and still i forget. i also have that grand old bio class that is going to need some work and a very large paper due in english.

i just want school to stop and i want a break so that i can come home and relax. i like it at home so much better then i do at school. don't get me wrong, i have some great friends at school that i hang out with everyday, but seriously i am tired of just hanging out. like really tired! there is also nothing to do cuz none of us party unlike everyone else there so that limits our abilities to entertain ourselves.

well this is a complaining post ...sorry.

that's pretty much all i have to say.